This Ain't Right...

... And LG knows it ain't right.  But that doesn't mean he ain't gonna post it on The LG Report nonetheless.

LG and the family were on a mini-vacation earlier this week.  As anyone would normally do on a family vacation, LG wandered into a store that sold magic tricks and gag items while the girls were in a clothing store.

LG found this really neat fake human turd (an "FHT" in collectors' lingo), one of the key items missing from his gag gift collection.  Sure, plastic and rubber dog turds are easy to come by, but a good FHT is a collector's item of considerable value.

Here's a picture of a FHT, although not the actual model that LG bought.  This is just for your academic interest as a potential collector of fake human turds (hey, a person has to get turned on to a new hobby somehow, this could be your epiphany!):

So LG buys this FHT and surreptitiously smuggles it back into the hotel room at the bottom of a bag of innocuous souvenir t-shirts.

LG was prepared with this camouflage maneuver in case Mrs. LG conducted a TSA-like search of the shopping bags.  She never does this, but LG wanted to be ready nonetheless.  FHT smugglers can never be too prepared.  It's one of our admirable traits.  


Like any connoisseur of a good practical joke, LG did not rush into things.  He waited until the next day to deploy the FHT.







An old saying tells us that "Revenge is a dish best served cold."  FHT, like revenge, is best served cold. That's especially true because if you serve FHT hot, there's a chance that it may actually be RHT (with the "R," obviously, standing for "Real."  We know: Eeeew!)

For the benefit of the loyal readers of The LG Report (and we apologize again for the infrequent postings as of late, but things have been busy around here...), LG went to the trouble of videotaping his lovely bride's encounter with the FHT.

Here now, for your viewing pleasure, is the link to the world-premiere of that clip.

Please keep in mind that the brown substance that you are about to see floating in the toilet is indeed a piece of FHT, but if you should have a squeamish disposition, you may choose to forego clicking on this link, thereby passing on your chance to watch the most excellent Sure-To-Be-Nominated-For-An-Oscar short video which awaits you on the other end.

If you do watch, we hope you enjoy it.  We look forward to seeing you back here again soon.  We promise not to be as gross next time (it would be hard to top this one...although if anyone can do it, we think it would be us!)

PS LG received his lovely bride's permission to post this video but once she actually sees it up here she may demand its removal so don't delay if you're thinking of watching it...

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE FHT VIDEO!