The LG Report Gives In To The Madmen

As you might imagine, were you to waste any time actually thinking about something like this, most of the major media outlets (NY Times, CNN, USA Today, Dog Fancy Magazine) want to purchase The LG Report.  As the people at Dog Fancy said, "We want to make you our bitch."  The others didn't put it so nicely.

And we're talking big buck$ here, in the tens of dollars.  So LG was poised to sell out (while maintaining complete editorial control, of course...) when a snag arose. 

The prospective buyer wanted some "market research" (insert visual of "air quotes" made by Chris Farley with his fingers back in his Saturday Night Live days).  This prospective purchaser wanted information on our "demographics" and our "reader loyalty."  So we caved in and hired a high-priced Madison Avenue market research firm to do a hidden camera "focus group."  This company clandestinely observed many of our readers as they perused The LG Report.   Yes, you were probably among them.  And no, we won't say anything to anyone about your underwear. 

We haven't seen the final report yet, but here's a video clip that our Madmen are telling us is a very representative sample of their research:

[Editor's Note: No animals or human beings were harmed in the making of this video.]
So there you have it folks, hopefully you feel the same way as this typical reader.  Thanks for checking in, see you again soon!

Selection 2010 - Jared Prudoff

Is America Headed Toward Social Democracy?

by Michael Kaplan

Jacksonian political unrest in 2010 is driven by bread-and-butter economic issues as much as by issues of culture and politics. Sociologist and prognosticator Joel Kotkin makes the case that this is part of a worldwide resurgence of economic inequality and class conflict as globalization moves into fast forward. Middle- and working-class Americans are being displaced by technology and the outsourcing of jobs to low wage countries in the developing world, even as the same process boosts productivity and creates new wealth. President Obama and liberal Democrats have been unable to harness this economic discontent. Indeed, the administration and its big spending liberal policies are seen as the problem. The president and his elite liberal supporters don’t connect with Jacksonian economic concerns—tax relief, private-sector job creation, and fostering small business—anymore that they do with Jacksonian cultural and political passions. Kotkin argues that this again has to do with the nature of the liberal Democratic base of elite professionals and urban poor for whom these issues simply don’t resonate. The Tea Party movement, by focusing on fiscal responsibility and putting less emphasis on divisive social issues, can strengthen the Republicans’ populist appeal for middle income Jacksonian voters, which would be the key to victory in the 2010 midterm elections.

This leads me to the issue of capitalism and social democracy. Americans now face a choice as to what values they want our society to foster: Jacksonian values of rugged individualism, liberty, small government, risk-taking and the pursuit of happiness, or European social democratic values of extensive social safety nets, big government, social/economic entitlements, safety and security. There are trade offs with either path. American laissez-faire capitalism and Jacksonian rugged individualism have always had a hard-edged streak, perhaps one could even call it social cruelty. Individuals had to measure up to the demands of pursuing happiness in a competitive society or risk falling behind. General Patton famously said that America loves a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Ronald Reagan expected (and Rush Limbaugh expects), Americans to live up to the heroic deeds of their frontier-conquering forbearers. This is especially true for American men who have been losing the most ground in the post-2008 economic downturn.

Rush Limbaugh insists that liberals are attracted to social-democratic statism, and are actually afraid of freedom because they are afraid of failure. Now Rush does have a tendency to exaggerate and use colorful allegories to make his points, but he does offer a valuable insight. A system based on political and economic liberty allows individuals to succeed, sometimes beyond their wildest dreams. It also allows individuals to fail, sometimes catastrophically. It is the responsibility of you, the individual, to take advantage of the opportunities provided by a free society to succeed. This means getting yourself trained and educated to develop marketable skills and build the psychological fortitude and determination to work hard and do what it takes to achieve one’s life ambitions. It helps to have something you’re passionate about doing to motivate you to work your hardest, be creative, and be the best you can be. You always need to pursue excellence. Individuals engaged in the capitalist creation of wealth not only enrich themselves but others around them as well. They also put competing individuals and companies out of business. Capitalism is not a zero-sum game; often, though not always, it is a win-win. But if you can’t or won’t do what is needed to compete in the pursuit of wealth and happiness, then the failure is your responsibility and you’ll get thrown under the bus.

American liberals and European social democrats, in contrast, reject the idea that some people will succeed and some will fail when allowed to pursue happiness. They want much greater government control and management of society; the control and management to be provided by the technocratic elites. Such a system, its supporters believe, will do away with winners and losers in society by putting a cap on success, cushioning failure, and providing a basic level of social services and support for all. Such a society, liberals and social democrats believe, will be more just, fair, and equitable. Rush, on the contrary, argues that a social democratic society would be nothing less than an assault on both the individual’s pursuit of excellence and liberty. Only the mediocre and the lazy would benefit from social democracy. And again this will come with a trade off in a loss of decision making, self determination, and liberty for the individual.

What this boils down to is the core weakness of social democracy, what Charles Murray called the “Europe syndrome” in a speech before the American Enterprise Institute in March 2009: “It drains too much of the life from life.” Murray has plenty of good things to say about social democracy Europe-style. It provides a nice materially comfortable life, with not-too-demanding jobs guaranteed by the government, generous social welfare benefits, long vacations, and plenty of high culture and popular entertainment. In the years since 1945 western Europeans have come to expect lives freed from the stress and striving of American life or the emerging modernize-at-all costs capitalist societies of East Asia.

But this is also social democracy’s downside, and Murray argues, its fatal flaw. “To become a source of deep satisfaction, a human activity has to meet some stringent requirements. It has to have been important (we don't get deep satisfaction from trivial things). You have to have put a lot of effort into it (hence the cliché ‘nothing worth having comes easily’). And you have to have been responsible for the consequences.” What a progressive government actually tries to achieve with its social policies amounts to “taking some of the trouble out of things.” Sometimes, as in the case of police or fire protection, this is a very good thing. Yet, Murray goes on,

Every time the government takes some of the trouble out of performing the functions of family, community, vocation, and faith, it also strips those institutions of some of their vitality—it drains some of the life from them. . . . When the government says it will take some of the trouble out of doing the things that families and communities evolved to do, it inevitably takes some of the action away from families and communities, and the web frays, and eventually disintegrates. . . . Taking the trouble out of the stuff of life strips people—already has stripped people—of major ways in which human beings look back on their lives and say, “made a difference.”

If America goes down Europe’s path, the path Barack Obama and the post-1960s Aquarian liberal Democratic Party wants to take her, America will follow Europe into decline. The only way to avoid this outcome, Murray insists, is for Americans to hold on to what makes their nation different: American exceptionalism and its signature assumption that individuals are the masters of their destiny.

So American society has been able to maximize liberty, create new wealth, and remain at the cutting edge of scientific, entrepreneurial, and technological innovation. But this has come at the cost of allowing a certain percentage of people to be thrown under the bus. Social democracy, which is where Barack Obama would like to lead us as evidenced by his plan for a government controlled health care system, might make a America a more equitable and perhaps a more decent society. Many of the rifts in the social fabric could be healed. America would finally tolerate a loser. But it would come at the cost of diminished vitality, diminished social mobility, diminished innovation and dynamism, and an overall loss of individual liberty and the ability to create new wealth. And this would lead to America's economic decline and the loss of its ability to project power in the world and stand up for liberty. Power and initiative in world affairs would pass to China, which has no qualms about throwing millions of its own people under the bus—much more than Americans would ever tolerate. After all for all our competitiveness and love of winners, Americans are also a very generous people who, through philanthropy and volunteerism, often work to help losers get out from under the bus, get back onto their feet and into the game. So the choice we face is between vitality and security, national and individual greatness or safety and avoidance of risk in a welfare state. Can we as a nation find a way to balance society’s need for creative dynamism and the pursuit of excelelnce with its need for stability and security? It's up to the American people to decide. Charles Krauthammer and David Brooks have recently discussed these themes and their implications for America in the 2010s in some interesting articles.

We may no longer have a choice. This year’s economic meltdown in Europe, starting with the bankruptcy and violence in Greece, is pretty damning evidence that the European model of social democracy cannot be sustained. Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin have argued that the public sector as it now exists (Walter Russell Mead calls it the “blue beast”) is unconstitutional and should gradually be abolished. The government—federal, state, and local—is primarily responsible for maintaining law and order at home and defending the nation against threats from abroad, otherwise leaving the American people alone and free to pursue happiness. This means that government services should be limited to the police, fire and emergency services, and the military, which provide the security framework for ordered liberty. All other services, according to this line thinking, should be left to the private sector; and what the private sector doesn’t want to do doesn’t need to be done. More realistically, Rush has suggested that public sector salaries and benefits be brought in line with those in the private sector. This would go a long way toward reducing state and federal indebtedness without having to lay off teachers, firemen, and other public sector employees.

While Jacksonians do want to reduce the size of government, they would not go as far as Rush or Levin would like. Most people want a certain level of public services—education, sanitation, fire protection, etc.—that the private sector might not be willing or able to provide. An ABC News/Washington Post poll of 1,083 Americans taken in January found that 58% of those polled preferred a smaller government with fewer services. What they really mean is that they want somebody else’s services cut while they keep the services they benefit from. Jacksonians believe in limited government, but not so limited that it can’t perform a vital function: promoting the prosperity and well being of the American middle class (the Jacksonian folk community), removing any artificial or unnecessary roadblocks to their pursuit of happiness. Or, as Walter Russell Mead put it, “Jacksonians . . . have long believed that a central function of the American Government is to transfer wealth from the public coffers to the middle class.” In the nineteenth century this meant low taxes, cheap and plentiful land, and the ethnic cleansing of the Indians. Since the 1930s it has meant middle-class entitlements. Examples of such government policies range from the Homestead Act and pensions for Civil War veterans in the nineteenth century, Social Security and mortgage interest deductions in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. Take note that Jacksonians believe in entitlements for the middle class—those who have pulled their weight, worked hard, played by the rules, created wealth and made a contribution to society. Jacksonians most emphatically oppose entitlements for the lower classes and the non-working poor who they see as a drain on society, who have not done anything to earn such public consideration. 

America does need a functioning public sector despite what some conservatives might think. The public sector provides the services and infrastructure that are the bulwarks of the private sector. This is a point that James Fallows makes in a recent Atlantic Monthly article. “I have seen enough of the world outside America to be sure that eventually a collapsing public life brings the private sector down with it.” Such bulwarks as public schools, post offices, roads, public parks, Social Security, Medicare, (and of course the police and military) make life more pleasant and secure for the average person and allow the private sector to operate democratically for the benefit of all the people, not just for the elites who control infrastructure and security as is the case in many developing nations. The dystopian 1982 science fiction movie Blade Runner (one of my favorites, where Harrison Ford hunted down renegade androids in a chaotic urban jungle) is a stark warning of what a society without a functioning public sector would look like. People cannot create wealth and enjoy the fruits of their labor without a certain level of societal security. Public and private abundance go hand-in-hand.

This is why Ed Koch, the colorful former mayor of New York City, who at a feisty eighty-five speaks out for what’s left the old Jacksonian tradition (Andrew and Henry M. “Scoop”) in the Democratic Party, said in an interview with Aaron Klein on WABC radio (August 15, 2010) that he will stay a Democrat. Though he vehemently rejects the Obama administration’s foreign policy, especially on the issues of Israel and Islamic terrorism, Koch insists that he simply cannot abide the conservative Republican domestic philosophy. Describing himself as a “liberal with sanity” in the tradition of Scoop Jackson and Hubert Humphrey, Koch declared “I believe that the Democratic philosophy, which is we will give a helping hand to those who need it, is far better than the Republican philosophy, which I crudely say, so to speak, is if I made it on my own you’re going to have to make it on your own.” Klein pointed out that unfortunately for Koch, the Democratic Party had been hijacked by the radical left and was no longer the party of Jackson and Humphrey; that today’s Democrats are about spreading the wealth around and imposing socialism whether the American people want it or not.

So the issue dividing liberals and conservatives is how extensive the public sector needs to be to secure liberty and prosperity and enhance the private sector without crushing them. How much of a helping hand can or should government extend to people without undermining their individual initiative and self-reliance or bankrupting the economy? And while I don’t agree with Rush Limbaugh or Mark Levin when they call public sector employees leeches who suck the blood out of the private sector (I am one myself), the point is that the private sector creates the wealth that funds public services. The United States will not go the social democratic route. All of us in America (and in Europe), in both the private and public sectors, who’ve gotten used to the good life are going to have to work harder for less money and fewer benefits to get the great capitalist wealth creation machine working again.

P.S. For all you young people starting a new semester in higher education (including my own students), the party’s over. Time to put down the beer bongs and get serious about your education while you can.  When you graduate you’ll face a long and bumpy road and you’ll have to work harder than you ever imagined in the new world of global capitalism. If you don’t take advantage of your time in college and develop your skills and the psychology to keep on learning and re-inventing yourself in an ever changing world, you will get thrown under the bus. And the bus will be driven by a hard-working, driven-to-succeed-at-all-costs guy or girl from India or China.

© 2010 Michael Kaplan

Picture Essay and a Look at The 'Bank

LG turned the ole Blackberry on its side this morning and shook it vigorously to cause some pictures to spill out.  Coincidentally, they formed a photo essay.  Here's what it said:

  We'd like to be frank with you...

We know that you have a lot going on in your life, and visiting various sites on the web can really take a bite out of your time...

But make no bones about it....

We consider it a real treat to have you spend some time with The LG Report...

And we mean that, we're not just trying to be cute! [Unlike Chloe here, who lives in Houston and is the well-behaved daughter of Stefano and Gelena...]

LG couldn't figure out how to work this picture into the photo essay, but the uncle of the drummer in this band is a friend of mine and he said if I publicize the band on The LG Report there may be a backstage pass in it for me:

And, finally, for those of you who have never been to Citizens Bank Ballpark in Philadelphia (home of the Phillies), here's a quick look thanks to an exclusive LG Report video clip supplied by reader Lee of Central Florida.  He visited The 'Bank (as Philadelphians call it) earlier this week:

That's it for today folks, come back soon, another great video clip is in the chamber waiting to launch, along with ... who knows what else?  Always something surprising awaiting at The LG Report!

Anti-intellectualism and American Populism: Why Academics and Jacksonians Distrust Each Other

by Michael Kaplan

In an earlier post I posed the question: what is the proper role of the intellectual and the life of the mind in a populist democracy? I suggested that there is a real and genuine tension between Jacksonian populism and intellectualism in American life and politics. Anti-intellectualism has been a persistent problem in Jacksonian populism while arro-gant condescension toward the American people has too often been part of academic elite culture. Michael Barone discussed this tension in the context of the 2008 election campaign, presenting a sharp political and cultural divide between Jacksonians and those he labeled “Academics.” Differing views of patriotism and military virtue are at the heart of the conflict. Jacksonians are fighters while intellectuals are writers. Jacksonians believe that elite intellectuals are cowards who lack the courage to fight and defend American liberty. Academics “live the arts of peace and hate the demands of war.” For Jacksonians this means that the intellectual elites are willing to sacrifice liberty and sell out their country to preserve peace at any price. “Most important,” Barone adds, “warriors are competitors for the honor that academics and public employees think rightfully belongs to them.” This is in sharp contrast to Jacksonians who “place a high value on the virtues of the warrior and little value on the work of academics and public employees.”

These cultural values come out of the Scots-Irish tradition of natural liberty outlined by David Hackett Fischer in his book Albion’s Seed. This liberty is not absolute. It is embeded in and must conform to a culture committed to the claims of traditional values, honor and community. Jacksonians believe that people should be free to live their lives as they see fit without interference from government, or meddling liberal elites, so long as those lives are lived within the bounds of the traditions of the folk community and the Jacksonian code of honor. And if “someone infringes on that liberty beware: The Jacksonian attitude is, ‘If you attack my family or my country, I’ll kill you.’” This is the bedrock of Jacksonian patriotism. And Jacksonians have lived it over and over again, as they fought wars against the Indians on the western frontiers and fought each other during the Civil War. Liberty, tradition, honor, and community are intertwined and inseparable. On the other side of the coin, Jacksonians believe they have the right and duty to curtail the liberty of those who do not or will not honor the traditons of the Jacksonian folk community.

This is anathema to academics who believe it is their right and duty to critique and challenge traditional values, faith, and community sentiment in the name of tolerance and progress. Indeed this is the bedrock of the academic conception of liberty. Tradition, honor, community, and faith have little resonance for most academics. Academics, Barack Obama and those who support him among them, also prefer “the language of diplomacy and negotiation” to “the words of war.” This infuriates Jacksonians to no end, leading them to question the academics’ courage and patriotism. While academics want to understand what motivates America’s enemies, Jacksonians only want to defeat them. In other words, academics prefer multilateral cooperation while Jacksonians prefer unilateral military action.

This is a point that another of my favorite pundits, Lieutenant Colonel Ralph Peters, Fox News strategic analyst and Jacksonian nationalist, forcefully makes. Peters charges that academics and intellectuals deceive themselves into thinking that the measured words of diplomacy can take the place of the hard hand of war. Diplomats and intellectuals mistakenly believe that all conflicts can be resolved peacefully through negotiations. “But those who rule by the sword (or the fist, or engineered famines or outright genocide) don’t want to hash things out! They want to win. No elegant phrase has ever stopped a bullet in midflight.” Nor have Quakers ever stopped a war or genocide. “A pen wielded by a talented writer may wound a target's ego, but a sword will cut off the writer's head.”

Peters shares Jacksonian pessimism about human nature—that part of human nature that has not benefitted from American exceptionalism. History is a bloodbath and the world is filled with very bad actors. “All decent men want peace. But wise men know that not all men are decent.” All liberty, including intellectual freedom, is a precious gift that can only survive if defended by those willing to fight and die for it. Liberty can never be taken for granted. “The use of the pen is an indulgence we can afford only because better men and women grip the sword on our behalf.” 

Given all this, Jacksonians respect leaders who exude a sense of command. Ronald Reagan is the model of the Jacksonian style of leadership in our time. One of Reagan’s great strengths was his ability to combine fluid, graceful maneuver, and eloquent speaking, which he learned from the movies, with “the sense of command and an understanding that he must always be in charge.” This was illustrated, Barone points out, by the iconic moment after Reagan was shot on March 30, 1981:

[he] then walked out of the ambulance into George Washington University hospital, when he got out of the car, stood up and (for me, the greatest gesture) buttoned his suit coat, and walked into the building and then, when out of camera range, collapsed on the floor. Would Obama be capable of doing that, while in great pain and in mortal danger? Maybe. The academic doesn't think about it. The Jacksonian thinks it's very unlikely.

Reagan’s gesture reaches back to Andrew Jackson who killed his opponent, Charles Dickinson, in a duel after he was already shot and as president would use his cane to subdue a would-be assassin who had shot at him.




Populist suspicion of intellectuals and other elites can be traced back to the early days of the republic. The Scots-Irish settlers of the backcountry had a particular hatred for the intellectual elites of Old and New England. They were a high spirited and sensual but economically hard pressed people, who had neither opportunity for nor saw much value in book learning. Senator James Webb, one of the small number of Jacksonians still in the Democratic Party, wrote in his book Born Fighting [pp. 88-89], that the Scots-Irish “were not monks and nuns” nor “were they Talmudic scholars. Most of them had little or no schooling, knew no refined trade, and had read no book except perhaps the Bible.” On the Borders of England and Scotland, the marches of Ulster, and the backcountry of the Carolinas, fighting was a far more highly valued skill than writing. And the Scots-Irish were fierce fighters indeed, driven by a love of liberty and equality, their code of honor, and their refusal to submit to any authority they deemed illegitimate. These were not people who took kindly to condescension, nor were they likely to be swayed by the nuanced arguments of intellectual discourse. “And if any man, no matter how highly born, should strike or offend them, it was their credo to strike back twice as hard.” These character traits are very much part of Jacksonian populist culture today.

In contrast, the Founding Fathers who led the American Revolution were a genuine intellectual elite. Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, Patrick Henry, John Dickinson, and I could go on, were men of broad and deep learning, products of the European Enlightenment who assimilated the complete body of knowledge of eighteenth-century Western civilization. In their writings and debates they set forth the ideals of life, liberty, self-government, and the pursuit of happiness that would define the American creed. But it was a man of action and character, George Washington, the least educated of the Founders, who provided the unifying leadership that won the Revolution. American liberty means nothing, Ralph Peters reminds us, unless it is backed up and defended by patriots willing to fight and die for it. The Declaration of Independence would only be noble words on a piece of paper without Washington and the soldiers of the Continental Army. Elite intellectuals and ordinary people had to work together to throw off the yoke of King George III and his ministers.

It took courage to affix a signature to the Declaration. But it had taken another kind of courage entirely to stand at Lexington and Concord the year before. Our Founding Fathers would have become hopeless fugitives, had determined soldiers not stood by Gen. Washington—from the disaster on Long Island, through the misery of Valley Forge and on to Yorktown.

Jacksonians do not love war, but they understand that it is sometimes the price of liberty. Even so most Americans, during the Revolution and ever since, have preferred to let a minority of patriots, often from the working classes, fight and die for the nation’s liberty while they pursue happiness and profit. Or as historian Walter McDougall put it in his book Throes of Democracy [p. xxiii]: “As has been the case throughout much of American history, the honor and sacrifice of a few, with George Washington at their head, secured the freedoms of the many.”

Lieutenant Colonel Banastre "Bloody" Tarleton, terror of the Carolina backcountry

And, it must be emphasized, the American Revolution could not have been won without the contribution of the Scots-Irish frontiersmen. The three major blocs of the Patriot alliance that fought for independence were the Yankee Puritans of New England, the planters of the Tidewater South, and the Scots-Irish of the backcountry stretching from Pennsylvania through Georgia. In the critical years of 1780 and 1781 Scots-Irish Patriot guerillas in the Carolina backcountry tied down the British forces of General Lord Cornwallis and his dragoon commander, Lieutenant Colonel Banastre Tarleton, and their Loyalist guerilla auxiliaries. The young Andrew Jackson had his baptism of fire in this bloody guerilla warfare which ravaged his native community, the Waxhaws. Jackson always regretted that hadn’t taken the shot to kill “Bloody” Tarleton when he had the chance. For the rest of his life he bore the scars from being struck by the sword of one of Tarleton’s lieutenants. Historians Fred Anderson and Andrew Cayton commented in The Dominion of War [p. 211] that Jackson “learned what he knew of moral philosophy from the British soldier Banastre Tarleton, not David Hume, and he was always more comfortable with a pistol than a pen.” Jackson’s experience of the Revolution was very different from that of his contemporary and future rival John Quincy Adams. While the young Jackson was fighting a war for survival in the Carolina backcountry, the young Adams was serving his country by learning the art of diplomacy at the side of his father John Adams in the royal courts Europe. These contrasting experiences of the Revolution would define the careers and life paths of Adams, the intellectual and diplomat, and Jackson, the warrior and man of action. America needed both of these men, passionate and committed patriots, who would end up on a collision course in 1824 and 1828.

The American Revolution unleashed a radical populist energy that in a generation would break the bonds of social hierarchy, already weak in America, and overwhelm the elite politics of the Founders. The Federalist Party of Alexander Hamilton would lose power to Thomas Jefferson’s Republican Party in 1800 because the Federalists, men of wealth, good birth, and higher education, made no secret of their contempt for average Americans. The Federalists saw themselves as the new republic's natural aristocracy—the wise fathers of the people who would provide the guidance a provincial, uneducated, and child-like citizenry needed, and expected in return the social and political deference due to wise fathers of the people. But the Federalists really had no clue of the magnitude of the transformation the Revolution had wrought on the American people. Americans who lived through the crucible of the Revolution, who liberated themselves by force of arms and ideas from the bonds of the British monarchy, did not see themselves as children needing guidance. Freed from the remaining hierarchical restraints of the colonial period, the average white male citizens of the new republic had no intention deferring any longer to their so-called social betters. They would forcefully assert themselves in politics and society, and they would find their hero and champion in Andrew Jackson.

© 2010 Michael Kaplan

Selection 2010 - David Charvet

ALL THIS IS NOW FORGOTTEN.......KENYA can now sing a new Song......! A song of liberty and Hope.

Last year (on 27th November 2009) as i was celebrating my birthday..... i just thought about the millions around the world who were not as happy i as i was. Right here in Kenya...thousands of my kinsmen were in dilapidated tents even as heavy rains continued to ponder most parts of the country. This lone imagination made me think about the Untold Stories of children suffering in Iraq, Southern Sudan deaths, rape in Congo, IDPs in Kenya, Aborigines in South Africa, the thousands homeless Americans, the abused women in Saudi Arabia, the suffering Monks in Tibet, the AIDS victims in Siera-Leon, victims of Kony in Uganda the minority in Russia, and the millions of vulnerable people across the world.....! All suffering and facing death in their darkest and forgotten worlds. This provoked me to write the following poem that i must admit is shallow but talks a million words about this near hell stories.

As Kenya celebrates it second liberation, TWO HOURS BEFORE joins the party but nevertheless reminds the world of the other untold clandestines that threatens human existence. Kenya can atleast now sign a new song and a Liberty Song to be specific....however "THE LONG JOURNEY TO PROSPERITY AND POSTERITY HAS JUST BEGUN"

THE UNTOLD STORY, is a story you will love to read. It has no plot though, neither does it has characters, Its characters have no characteristics....!

THIS IS THE STORY

The untold story
The story of the past
The story of today
The story of tomorrow
The story about a story- untold

This story has no plot
Neither does it has characters
Its characters have no characteristics
Their characters already dead
It’s a utopic story.

It’s a story about everything
The story tells us nothing
No one likes telling the story
But everybody listens to it.

It’s not written anywhere
It has no narrator
Nobody knows its origin
The only story that makes one laugh
And cry at the same time

Its prologue is unending
Just like its epilogue
It’s a story about many stories
Stories about other stories

It talks about birth
It talks about death too
It’s the story about the righteous
It’s a story about the wicked

The only story about the
Past, today and tomorrow
It’s the story that compares men to beasts

This is the story about the unknown
It talks about America, China, and North Korea
The story is strange
It even mentions Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and Israel
It idolizes Wall Street



However, the story is shy
It is the only story that misses the word
Dafur, Somalia, Tibet or even Moscow
The story does not talk about Zimbambwe
Nor does it mention DRC

It’s about rape- fathers raping their daughters
Mothers fornicating with their sons
It’s a strange story
Where characters abuse human dignity
It’s the story that compares the incomparable

The story is set in unknown country
A wonder country
Where true stories are told in whispers
They are not written
Nor sang or narrated- only in whispers
It’s a story of sorrow
A story of bewilderment
Set in illusion

AUTHOR: MWANGI S. MUTHIORA

(I wrote this poem on my birthday last year 27th Nov 2009)
DEDICATED TO THE SUFFERING AROUND THE WORLD


Read about the Author on the February issue of Parents Magazine 2010 and read his untold story. Also Join Two Hours Before on facebook and twitter. NOTE: Two Hours Before is the fastest growing poetry blog in the country with over 27,000 visits and several reputable Reviews across the world.

MWANGI S. MUTHIORA
EXCECUTIVE DIRECTOR
Two Hours Before
fafdays@gmail.com
+254 725 385 654

DO YOU HAVE AN EVENT/ OCCASSION YOU WOULD LIKE THIS AUTHOR TO GRACE? WRITE BACK TO US ON THE CONTACTS ABOVE AND WE ARE JUST A CLICK AWAY FROM ENTERTAINING YOUR GUESTS. TWO HOURS BEFORE........WE ARE ALWAYS AHEAD. DREAM IT AND WE SHALL MAKE IT BECOME
For more details contact Paa Ya Paa on 0733270109 or me on 0725385654

Andy Whitfield Unofficial Fan Site: Andy Whitfield / News & Biography - MashCeleb

Andy Whitfield Unofficial Fan Site: Andy Whitfield / News & Biography - MashCeleb:
"Andy Whitfield / News & Biography - MashCeleb"

Andy Whitfield is a Welsh actor and model Before becoming an actor, Whitfield worked as an engineer. He has appeared in several Australian television series, such as Opening Up, All Saints, The Strip, Packed to the Rafters and McLeod's Daughters. He gained his first prominent role in the Australian supernatural film Gabriel. Whitfield also stars in the 2010 television series Spartacus: Blood and Sand, which is filmed in New Zealand. He plays the part of Spartacus, a soldier condemned to fight as a gladiator and who ultimately leads a rebellion against the Romans. Whitfield also appears in the upcoming Australian thriller The Clinic starring opposite Tabrett Bethell (of Legend of the Seeker fame), set for release in 2010, which was shot in Deniliquin.

Wordless Wednesday? Not For Us!

If you're a regular reader of blogs, or even a casual one, you may have come across a feature known as "Wordless Wednesday."  It's a method for bloggers to get a post up without exerting time and effort in coming up with verbiage, they merely post a photo.  Well, that's not for us here at The LG Report.  We don't do "wordless."  As most of you know, we only do prolixity, verbosity, garrulousness, bloviation, etc.  In fact, we'll gladly use all those extra words that other bloggers are leaving on the editing room floor this Wednesday...

Nonetheless, we have some pictures for your enjoyment today.

Surely you've heard of the famed Shroud of Turin. My friend Jimmie recently encounter the "Burger of Goulden's," a close cousin to The Shroud. When the mustard was randomly and haphazardly squirted onto his burger, it mysteriously spelled out the shortened version of his name. Papal authorities are investigating. PS: Jimmie did not recently escape from the insane asylum, his facial expression only looks that way. He actually escaped years ago.



I think it's outrageous that our government is providing "Cash For Junkies!"  Of course they're always "smashed" as the headline says.  And they never run, they just sit around smoking their ganja, pot, weed, grass, hemp, 420, maryjane or whatever they call it.  I just happen to know those names from media reports.  Honestly. 

Oh, wait, that headline says "Cash for Junkers."  Please disregard the previous rant.  But look at the photo.  What is that woman supposed to be doing, waiting for someone to jump start one of these pieces of sh#%@ with the other?  And what is that car on the left, a 1960 Fiat?  If she's got such a crappy car, how can she afford that cell phone that she's gabbing on?  Verizon Wireless charges more per month than any car dealer's leasing plan.  And when did Frankenstein loan this woman his shoes?  This whole picture just annoys me, as you may have noticed.  I'll bet these people wish today was "Wordless Wednesday" at The LG Report.   

Here's Geo proudly showing off the rat's nest of tickets he recently won at Skee Ball.  He only had to push two six-year olds out of the way to get his preferred machine.  For his mere $83 investment, he won enough tickets to earn himself three Super Balls and a coffee mug.  Excellent job Geo!!!  Notice the mystical white light radiating from his forehead toward the Skee Ball machine?  That's Geo's secret, he uses his superior mental powers to control Skee Ball machines.  Pretty soon, Geo is going to have the world's Super Ball market cornered if somebody doesn't do something about this soon...

That's it for today folks, thanks for clicking in.  Everyone at The LG Report, including all editorial and distribution offices worldwide, hopes to see you back here again soon!

Aussie Hottie Andy Whitfield Is One Sexy 'Spartacus'

Copyright 2010 Starz Home Entertainment

"Spartacus: Blood and Sand," which made record ratings for Starz when it premiered last Friday night, is so steamy it should be called "Spartacus: Blood and Sex." ET talks to series star and Aussie hottie Andy Whitfield about what it is like to do all the nudity and love scenes.
ET: When you auditioned, did they ask you to take your shirt off?
Andy Whitfield: Surprisingly, I wasn't. I was wearing clothes. That didn't happen, so I had a month to convince them they made the right decision.
ET: How comfortable are you with the nudity and the love scenes?
Andy Whitfield: Some of those things are easier than others. Doing that is actually easier than some other scenes. It is something that is natural. My philosophy is you have to make whatever is written on the page look real. Part of that is investing in the other person you are working with. It is a commitment thing. I never really know what is going to happen next. I just let that flow.
ET: Talk about the physical preparation for this and the training that you have gone through.
Andy Whitfield: It was pretty brutal, actually. Two days after I got the job, I flew to New Zealand, and I was in gladiator boot camp, which is a month of four hours a day, getting smashed to pieces by big stunt guys, learning how to fall, sword fighting and not eating anything. It was really hard. And then you get to the end of that first month, and then they're going to do an eight-and-a-half-month shoot where you have to stay in that shape.
ET: Did you have a stunt double?
Andy Whitfield: I did most of it myself because of the phantom camera. There is this 1,000 frames-a-second camera that creates the slow-motion stuff, so you can see it is not me if it is not me. There were some things I couldn't do for insurance reasons. But pretty much, I hit the deck every time and threw the punches and swung the swords.
ET: I understand that you have an interesting background. You came over to Australia from Wales and climbed stuff?
Andy Whitfield: I used to climb buildings, bridges, dams, whatever with ropes. I was working for a big consulting engineering firm and my job was to look at problems on structures and figure out what was going wrong.
ET: How did you make the transition from engineering to acting?
Andy Whitfield: One day I realized that I didn't have to do what I studied to do. It was a time in my life when I was unlocking parts of me … acting was just an awesome way of pushing that envelope.
ET: The series has already been picked up for the second season. When do you go back into training?
Andy Whitfield: I am just ironing out all the things that went pop in the show. Probably two months before, I will go back in the gym. I am trying to put it off as long as possible.
"Spartacus: Blood and Sand" premieres a new episode tonight at 10 p.m. on Starz.

http://www.etonline.com/news/2010/01/83404/

Selection 2010 - Fernando Bacalow

Classement 2009 - 95°

Don't Miss This: The Greatest Political Ad Ever!

Regular readers of The LG Report will remember (actually, even the constipated readers should recall) that a few months ago we endorsed Anna C. Little in the Republican primary for the Sixth Congressional District of New Jersey.  

Largely on the strength of that endorsement, or so we tell ourselves, Ms. Little won the primary by a very narrow margin.  She is now facing a tough contest against an 11-term incumbent in the general election in November. 

The LG Report has, with the help of Anna C. Little For Congress supporter Marge C., created possibly the single most compelling ad in the history of American politics. 

Yes, you read that right.  If we typed it correctly, that is.  We'll go back and check for typos later.

This advertisement is packed with sincerity, enthusiasm and compelling logic.  Yet, at the same time, it gets its message across in a sophisticated and subtle Jersey style that would make Snooki, The Situation and The Real Housewives of New Jersey proud.

So have a look, and don't be shy about sharing a link to this heartwarming piece of Americana with your friends through Facebook and/or e-mail, we'd appreciate it!

Our First Video Post + More!

Today, The LG Report takes a giant leap forward, one of those REALLY   l--o--n--g  and impressive leaps where, as you land, just for a second, you think you may have split your crotch bone in half (never mind that there is no "crotchbone," we're on a roll.)   You have a lightning flash of terrifying thought:  "Oh no, what did I do..."  But then it's gone, and you realize that you're OK and that you've just made the most impressive leap of your life.  That's what we're talking about.  Word. 

Before we get to this miracle of modern technology, however, here are Three Random LG Thoughts:

1.  If I ever go to the electric chair, a Coke Slurpee(tm) is going to be part of my last meal.  And I'll insist that they let me prepare it, because (and here's a valuable secret for you LG Report readers), I always slide over to the soda dispenser and put some actual Coke in the Slurpee cup when I'm about halfway through filling it.  This little clandestine act makes the Slurpee more moist and flavorful.  Shhh, don't let the 7-11 authorities know;

2. LG recently read a study that said that you shouldn't believe all studies.  He tends to agree with that study; and, finally,

3.  A couple of weeks ago, LG read a story in the local paper about a guy who left this area and moved to North Carolina.  He was gunned down in what is suspected to be a drug-related crime.  Everyone that the local paper interviewed in his hometown said things like "He was so gentle, a true friend when you needed him," and "He was such a kind and caring soul, not an enemy in the world, just an angel on Earth."   Then (this is TRUE, I swear!) the final line of the story said something like:  "Mr. X had been arrested in North Carolina not long before his death for kicking down the door of a house and beating up two people inside." 

So today The LG Report went to the Point Pleasant (NJ) boardwalk, a much smaller and more civilized place than the Seaside Heights boardwalk of Snooki, J-Woww, The Situation and the rest of the "Jersey Shore" cast on MTV.  We mentioned all of those characters, of course, to attract the Google hits.  Here's a picture of a random fellow who we encountered in Point Pleasant:

Oh, what's that he's wearing, an official LG Report t-shirt?!  What a coincidence!  A greater coincidence (or not), was that we ran into Geo, just as he was about to take in a free Bon Jovi concert on the boardwalk.  Here's a look at that encounter through the use of our first video clip:

There you have it kids, The LG Report's first video, short but semi-sweet.  We hope you enjoyed it, there are plenty more (and more entertaining) to come.   We'll see you back here at the ranch soon with a new posting. 

And don't be afraid to forward this link to friends of yours who might be interested in the new look and sound of Bon Jovi!

Andy Whitfield / News & Biography - MashCeleb

Andy Whitfield / News & Biography - MashCeleb

Comic-Con interview: 'Spartacus' star Andy Whitfield speaks about his new 'fearlessness'

Andy Whitfield doesn't often look at "Spartacus" sites or message boards -- as is the case with many actors, he thinks reading the opinions of others can be a distraction.

But when he heard how thousands of fans were wishing him well as he fought cancer, he made an exception. In an interview conducted before the show's San Diego Comic-Con panel on Friday, he talking about reading the fans' messages of support.

"I was literally blown away," he said.

The outpouring of good will and the stories that other survivors shared online really did help him during a dark time, he said: "It really made a difference."

In the three interview clips below, he talks about what his character will be doing in the 6-episode prequel that airs early next year on Starz, and and he also talks about the show's second season. He said his character will be "bookending" the prequel: The Spartacus that we saw at the end of Season 1 will appear in the first and last episodes and will act as a bridge to the events depicted in those episodes, which are set about five years earlier and take place in Batiatus' ludus.

As for Whitfield's health, he's feeling fine. "I forget that I had cancer," he said. He's begun working out again in preparation for filming his prequel scenes in October (the rest of the prequel cast starts work in a week or so).

When he does return to work on "Spartacus," it will be with a new sense of energy and commitment, the actor said.

"I was forced to sit still," Whitfield said of his battle with cancer, which gave him "a chance to let go of things that don't necessarily serve you."

"I'm experiencing a fearlessness I never had before," he said. "And I just can't wait to see how that translates to work. You know, I could get there before, but now I think it's going to be more accessible…. It just makes you connect more and be more present, and that's kind of what acting's all about."

There are three interview clips with Whitfield below; the first two are from a one-on-one interview that took place before the "Spartacus" panel. The third is from a group discussion with the actor in the Comic-Con press room.

In these clips, he talks about Spartacus as "a beast of emotion," as a reluctant leader, the show's distinctive dialogue and the strict training and diet regimen he has to follow when he's shooting (the motivations there are "half fear, half vanity," he said with a laugh).

Before the clips, I've posted the audio of the entire "Spartacus" panel, which featured Whitfield, executive producer Steven S. DeKnight, John Hannah, Lucy Lawless and Viva Bianco.

The audio and video clips below assume that you have seen the first season of "Spartacus." Enjoy!

Spartacus Comic-Con panel

Andy Whitfield interview, Part 1

Andy Whitfield interview, Part 2

Andy Whitfield interview, Part 3

"THE MAN ON THE BOAT" is an intrusive poem written by an upcoming poet and writer George G. Karanja

The author of the following poem is a little known writer called George G. Karanja. Though he is not published, Karanja has written tenths of poems and he is currently writing a novel based on the Dafur conflict. All rights are reserved to the Author and this poem has been published here with his acknowledgment.

Reproduction in any form of media without prior written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Karanja can be contacted on: ggkaranja56@gmail.com or fafdays@gmail.com

THE MAN ON THE BOAT

He gazes at the silvery sea,
And struggles to bide a wee;
To look back into the dark caves
From whence he began riding the waves.

He rows the creaking fisherman boat,
The wind assailing his old coat.
Into the water he tosses the hook and the thread,
Hoping to catch a trout and break the trend

He pores over the horizon,
Searching soulful for the sign of dawn,
But grey clouds abounds, discolouring the morning light,
Pushing the sun back into the nooks of the night

He looks over there,
Beyond the mangroves of despair,
Where the graves of his dreams forms seven rows
Their spirit pushing up the daisies of woes.

He reminisces times past,
When he rode the world in howling gust
Sweeping off the strongest of trees
That sought to hinder his ways.

AUTHOR: GEORGE GAKURU KARANJA
MWANGI S. MUTHIORA
Managing Director
TWO HOURS BEFORE
P. O. BOX 147-00216
GITHUNGURI, KENYA

Tel: +254 725 385 654 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting +254 725 385 654 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
Email:fafdays@gmail.com,
fafdays@yahoo.com
fafdays@hotmail.com
fafdays@ovi.com
Blogsite: http://www.twohoursbefore.blogspot.com
Facebook: Two Hours Before
Simon Mwangi Muthiora

Movie Review + The LG Report Endorses a Truck

Two orders of business today kidz. 

First, our brief -- but always accurate -- movie review.  Tonight LG saw "Inception."  LG found it to be pretentious, unnecessarily complicated, derivative (of at least three other movies), too long (2.5 hours) and not very entertaining.  In short, it was much like The LG Report itself.   

We'd give it a 5.2 on a scale of 1 to 10.  If you go, don't say we didn't warn you.

Second, The LG Report has never before endorsed a motor vehicle, but in this case we had no choice but to give our thumbs up to a truly ballsy truck, probably the best on the road today.  We believe it's a Ford F150, but we can't be 100% certain from the photo (which, by the way, is courtesy of reader Anne F.S.) 

This truck has what some would euphemistically call "genital fortitude."  It exudes a sack of confidence.  On top of that, it passed every test(icular) we could throw at it.  You'd be nuts not to buy one.  So, without further adieu, we are proud to introduce the official truck of The LG Report: 

           
That's it for today folks.  Coming soon: Original LG Report video clips!  Please try to contain your excitement.   Thanks for clicking in, see you again soon. 

Andy Whitfield and Freddiew - Horsing Around