Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wordless Wednesday? Not For Us!

If you're a regular reader of blogs, or even a casual one, you may have come across a feature known as "Wordless Wednesday."  It's a method for bloggers to get a post up without exerting time and effort in coming up with verbiage, they merely post a photo.  Well, that's not for us here at The LG Report.  We don't do "wordless."  As most of you know, we only do prolixity, verbosity, garrulousness, bloviation, etc.  In fact, we'll gladly use all those extra words that other bloggers are leaving on the editing room floor this Wednesday...

Nonetheless, we have some pictures for your enjoyment today.


Surely you've heard of the famed Shroud of Turin. My friend Jimmie recently encounter the "Burger of Goulden's," a close cousin to The Shroud. When the mustard was randomly and haphazardly squirted onto his burger, it mysteriously spelled out the shortened version of his name. Papal authorities are investigating. PS: Jimmie did not recently escape from the insane asylum, his facial expression only looks that way. He actually escaped years ago.



I think it's outrageous that our government is providing "Cash For Junkies!"  Of course they're always "smashed" as the headline says.  And they never run, they just sit around smoking their ganja, pot, weed, grass, hemp, 420, maryjane or whatever they call it.  I just happen to know those names from media reports.  Honestly. 

Oh, wait, that headline says "Cash for Junkers."  Please disregard the previous rant.  But look at the photo.  What is that woman supposed to be doing, waiting for someone to jump start one of these pieces of sh#%@ with the other?  And what is that car on the left, a 1960 Fiat?  If she's got such a crappy car, how can she afford that cell phone that she's gabbing on?  Verizon Wireless charges more per month than any car dealer's leasing plan.  And when did Frankenstein loan this woman his shoes?  This whole picture just annoys me, as you may have noticed.  I'll bet these people wish today was "Wordless Wednesday" at The LG Report.   


Here's Geo proudly showing off the rat's nest of tickets he recently won at Skee Ball.  He only had to push two six-year olds out of the way to get his preferred machine.  For his mere $83 investment, he won enough tickets to earn himself three Super Balls and a coffee mug.  Excellent job Geo!!!  Notice the mystical white light radiating from his forehead toward the Skee Ball machine?  That's Geo's secret, he uses his superior mental powers to control Skee Ball machines.  Pretty soon, Geo is going to have the world's Super Ball market cornered if somebody doesn't do something about this soon...

That's it for today folks, thanks for clicking in.  Everyone at The LG Report, including all editorial and distribution offices worldwide, hopes to see you back here again soon!

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