Imagine my surprise when I recently learned that the big LG sign in Times Square wasn't meant as a tribute to me.
For years, I had thought that New York City was thanking me for living here for 17+ years by displaying my initials proudly. There had to be a reward, I believed, for my putting up with the crowds, high prices, noise, extra taxes and all other drawbacks of life in Gotham.
But, apparently, I was wrong. I guess the word "semiconductors" under the initials should've been a clue, but I never really focused on that.
The "Other LG," a South Korean company known as "LG Electronics," is a subsidiary of the "Lucky Group." It began in 1958 as Goldstar, a manufacturer of radios, TVs, refrigerators and washing machines. The company eventually merged with another South Korean firm, Lucky, and The Lucky Group was born. The company's current slogan, "Life's Good," is what's known as a "backronym." That's a phrase that's used to "back into" the initials of an already-existing entity. In other words, "Life's Good" was devised after The Lucky Group had been established. Personally, I'd call it a "retronym," but "backronym" seems to be the accepted term. This is not to be confused with bacne. You've had that somewhere along the way, I'm sure.
The Other LG has over 80,000 employees; this LG has none. BUT...if you Google "LG Report," you'll get The LG Report first, and the Lucky Group's annual report somewhere down the line. That really has to burn their butts, I'm sure.
The Other LG -- the the world's 3rd largest manufacturers of cell phones -- has some cash to throw around. The company sponsors a lot of ventures, including the Fulham soccer team in England, the Cricket World Cup, London's Fashion Week, a variety of sports teams and the LG Arena in Birmingham, England. Only if I could find a way to insert "The" and "Report" into all those logos and signs.
I'll make a public offer right here and now: I'll sell "The LG Report," to this other LG for a mere one million dollars. Other LG: have your people call mine. Using one of your LG cell phones, of course.
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COMING SOON: AN INTERVIEW WITH DANNIE!
People have told me time and again: "There's too much Geo in The LG Report." I feel your pain. And I listen to the readers.
Very soon The LG Report will be publishing an interview with Dannie!
Who is Dannie you ask? Good question.
Well, actually, his first name is Dan. He very rarely goes by "Danny," and when he does, he spells it with a "y" at the end. I spell it with an "ie" to amuse myself and, possibly, annoy him (he never lets on if it does.) Anyway, The LG Report will soon be posting an in-depth interview with Dannie, a very interesting person who:
- Once stood guard while his friend defecated in the high school library. That's a true story, but I don't know if he'll want to talk about that one -- especially since it just happened last week (Just kidding, it happened a long time ago, he's not allowed around high schools these days);
- Founded an innovative business while in college....but it flamed out quickly. Was there a scandal involved? Was Spitzer on his tail? Will Dannie address the hard-hitting questions?
- Is from Pittsburgh! Perhaps Dannie will tell us what makes Primanti Brothers such a great sandwich shop. And maybe he'll even shed light on some of the other mysteries of Pittsburgh;
- Created the Korean Chest Implosion (with no help from the Other, Korea-based, LG). He may explain how it works and who is deserving of one. Hopefully not you, but if he ever develops an e-mail-based Korean Chest Implosion...watch out!
Dannie is a complex and unique character; his thoughful insights and winning personality will make many of you forget that you ever fell under Geo's cult-like spell. Here's a picture of Dannie to whet your appetite:
No, that's not true, I'm just trying to keep you interested. Dannie and Matt are virtual look-alikes, separated at birth and whatnot.
Anyway, come back soon, the next post will be better than this one. Unless you're a Matt Damon fan, in which case, this is as good as it gets....
PS: My offer is still open Lucky Group, call soon before the price goes up...
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